i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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