my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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