Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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