I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
