they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
