Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
