I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I am midnight drunk by noon
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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