my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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