It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize