How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize