TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
