East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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