My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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