And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
