Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
