the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I wear drunk well.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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