dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
