its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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