Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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