Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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