so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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