If i come over, it means nothing
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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