I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
