Swine flu. Run for my life!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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