I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
