I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
