hell yes lets make some ravioli
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
