She said her name was "party"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize