you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize