i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
