90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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