do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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