Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
