my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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