goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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