are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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