Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
