Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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