He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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