I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
