I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize