btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I would fuck him just for his dog
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
