Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
