marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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