So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
