Everything about him screamed your future.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He did a backflip because drugs
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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