he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
