my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
