you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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