.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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