Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
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Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
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Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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