Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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