4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize