the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize