We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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