Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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