All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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