Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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