so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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